Avoid ordering physical items from Amazon until July 30th!
This isn’t some petty manufacturing error
This isn’t an outbreak of something stupid like anthrax
IF you make the mistake of ordering from Amazon in the next month and a half not only will you help prototype the new drone overlords, but in addition you could be seeing one of these MONSTROSITIES arrive at your front door
HOW WILL YOU BE ABLE TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF TO YOUR KIDS, YOUR SPOUSE, YOUR MAILMAN, YOUR COUNTRY???!??
I guess I could see why it’s fucked up that Dorito-flavored Mountain Dew is ‘a thing’ now, but the cause for alarm isn’t that food is brazenly imploding — the real issue here is that there’s a 14-year-old somewhere with some sort of wish-granting skateboard.
